May 7, 2012 § 3 Comments
Now there are some things that every young lady must know about the art of fellatio. And who better to tell you than the lovely Bare Kitten! So grab a pen and paper, bookmark this shit, download it, favorite it, memorize the holy fuck out this bitch because I’m about to tell you how to become a master at this art.
1. No two dicks are the same: What you do to one, you cannot do to all. Not all men like the same style of fellatio. Some prefer hard and fast while others are partial to slow and steady. Treating each dick like the last is a fatal error. Find out what he likes and accommodate him.
2. If you don’t feel like it, don’t do it: STOP! Right now. Call any guy you know and ask him if he likes a rushed or un-enthusiastic blowie. I would bet you my entire collection of sex toys that the answer is an emphatic NO! If you don’t feel like sucking it, don’t do it. Its not fair to either of you. And trust me, that is one thing you CANNOT fake. They know if you’re into it or not.
3. It takes practice: You may think there is no wrong way to suck a dick and you are dead ass wrong if you think so. To be a successful cock-sucker, you must practice. Now I’m not telling you to kneel before just anyone, but you can practice on just about anything that is phallis-shaped.
4. Watch porn: Aren’t you tired of hearing me say this? You should be watching porn regularly anyway. Watch porn so you can see how the pro’s do it. I don’t recommend copying exactly what the pro’s do, but you can get some good techniques and tips from them. After all, they do get paid to do just that!
5. Don’t forget the balls!: A lot of women neglect the balls because they get grossed out by them. First, make sure you have your dude clean/shave them properly then give them fuckers a good spit shine. Guys absolutely adore it when you show their balls the love they so desperately need.
6. Mind the teeth: You need to seriously be cognizant of your teeth when his dick is in your mouth. Some guys like a little grazing of the teeth on their dick, but no lie about 90% of guys hate that shit. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get him to orgasm. You are delaying that orgasm if you use your teeth or do anything else that turns him off.
7. Keep it up: I mean his dick of course. Know what his turn offs are and DON’T I repeat don’t do them or guess what you will have to start over with a limp dick.
8. Talk to him: Well obviously not while you are sucking his dick. I mean before. Find out his likes/dislikes, turn on’s/turn off’s and you will save a lot of time on your knees and make him happy. Does he like your hair in a ponytail so he can grab it? Does he prefer to keep his pants on when you do it? Does he want honey drizzled on his dick for you to lick it off? You need to know all these things to be a successful dick-licker.
9. To swallow or not?: This is completely up to you. Don’t offer to do something you’re not comfortable doing. Do not do this for just anyone. However, this is the piece de resistance of dick sucking so if you’re down I guarantee he will love it. If your not fond of the taste, pump him full of pineapple (or another sweet fruit juice) before hand. You can also ask for a cue before he comes, shove it all the way to the back of your throat and you won’t taste a thing!
10. Give it your all: Follow steps 1-9, give it 100% effort, and most of all enjoy it. Slobbing the knob is actual a big turn on for some women and may help you achieve orgasm faster.
So ladies, now that you know how to properly suck a dick, break out the knee-pads, stretch out that jaw and get to slurping!
March 9, 2012 § 2 Comments
You know how they always say “Don’t try this at home” well quite the opposite here, I want you to try this at home! As a matter of fact, I want you to try, fail, succeed, shit whatever, just have fun doing it. You may be thinking well damn, how do I fuck like a porn star? I mean it’s not easy, these ladies and gentleman work their asses off (literally!). I’m here to tell you friend that it’s not as hard (pun completely intended!) as you may think! Don’t believe me, ok lets chat about it and I bet I can convince you. I mean after all I am Bare Kitten, so why wouldn’t you believe me?
1. Throw caution (and your panties) to the wind: In order to fuck like a porn star, you have to think like one. You have to let go of your inhibitions. You can’t expect to get down like the pro’s if you wanna act all prude. I would never advise anyone to step outside their comfort zone, but you have to get out of your own way if you want to have mind-blowing sex. Start by using your words. Let me give you an example. Instead of saying “I would never do that” say instead “that’s interesting, I would like to learn more about it”. I’ve had that attitude towards a lot of things and ended up missing out on some really good shit because I was close minded. Needless to say, after being Bare Kitten for some time, my attitude towards sex has completely changed. I am more open to things and guess what, I fuck better because of it. So let go a little, but no more than you’re comfortable with and your experiences will be much better, I promise you!
2. Look like a porn star: This is for both ladies and gentlemen. Groom yourself the way they do. Dress the way they do (if they’re wearing anything at all!). Act the way they do. Talk the way they do! I’m not telling you to not be yourself, but be a you 2.0. Spiff up your appearance. Get yourself waxed, put on a sexy number, throw on some heels do whatever makes you feel hot. The better you feel about yourself, the better you will perform in bed. Sex is one of the few arenas where it’s ok to be full of yourself. Don’t go overboard, but be confident. It’s sexy!
3. Quit talking shit!: Don’t rev up your man by talking dirty to him all day then when you finally get him in your bed you lay there like a blow up doll. Don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash. And I mean that in every sense of the word. Don’t say something you’re not comfortable doing and have your card pulled when you’re in bed. You will look like an idiot and a liar. Say sexy things, but keep it real. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Talk dirty all you want, but make sure you can back it up!
4. Watch porn, duh!: How are you going to learn to fuck like a pro if you don’t know what they do? If you’re not comfortable watching porn, close your legs, zip up your fly, go read a fucking book and stop wasting people’s time. I’m not telling you to run to the nearest adult video store and buy everything off the shelf, but start simple. Find some porn that you like and really watch what they do. If there is something you like, see if you can replicate it. You don’t have to watch it with your partner, you can watch it alone and learn since it can be somewhat intimidating to watch porn with your partner. Do what I do, call it “research” and get to learning!
5. Communication is key!: You can’t be as outrageous in bed as a porn star if you and your partner haven’t had “the talk”. You know the one where you tell them what they can and can’t do. I can’t stress how important this is. I’ve actually figured out that I didn’t want to have sex with people after having “the talk”. Also, if you’re kinky like me, pick a safe word. For the record, mine is peanut-butter popcorn . Make sure that the word is distinctive enough that it can’t be confused with anything else.
6. Pick a fantasy: Sometimes its easier to fuck like a porn star if you actually play similar roles. Personally, I’m a kidnapping fan. My partner and I stage a fake kidnapping and have wild sex (I know, I have issues, shut up!). Of course, yours doesn’t have to be that extreme but its helpful if you have a storyline to follow. It’s also very hot if you are able to stay in character the whole time. Make it as real as possible, but if you are doing any part of it outside of your house, be extra cautious. You don’t want your lover arrested because people think you are really being kidnapped!
7. Get in the zone!: What I mean by this is try spending some time pretending that you are a porn star. You know how actors immerse themselves into the real-life situations that their characters will play so that they can be as realistic as possible, try doing the same thing. No, your ass is not to old to be pretending. Especially when it comes to sex. You know what they say, you think, therefore you are…
8. Capture the moment: Since you read steps 1-7 you should be thinking, acting and looking like a porn star so why not take the final step and actually film your work. Now before you grab the web cam and start streaming your shit live, please read my Amateur Porn for Dummies on how to do this the right way. There is nothing hotter than watching your own porn, trust me. Hell you can even review it like coaches do before a big game to see what you can improve on or do differently next time. If you are a narcissist like yours truly you may even get to the point where you want to share it with others so they can see how you rock people’s worlds!
9. Idiot-proof the setup: Make sure you have stretched, you have protection, you won’t have a delivery man knock on the door or any other unpleasant interruptions or injuries spoil your adventures. You don’t want anyone or anything wrecking your groove while you are doing the performance of yours or your partners lifetime. Tie up your loose ends and make sure you have a peaceful place, your physically able and you have accounted for and prevented anything that can ruin this special time.
10. Fap, fap and fap some more: We all know how much I love masturbation, and I can’t stress how important it is. Picture this scenario. Ladies, you go to the salon, get waxed, buffed, manicured, bleached the whole 9. You put on a smoking hot outfit and greet your man at the door. You push him up against the door and start doing dirty things to him. He throws you on the bed, gives you a few good ones and he’s done. Why did this happen? Because he doesn’t masturbate and he was so excited that he couldn’t hold it and your ass just spent all this time and money getting ready for a bullshit lay. This is the kind of thing you get back-handed for in my house. I encourage masturbation because it enhances stamina for men and makes it easier to achieve orgasm in women. So before you crawl in to bed with them, make sure you have a good go at yourself first!
You should be a believer by now that you too can fuck like a porn star. But please don’t take my word for it, get out there and put my advice to good use!
February 13, 2012 § 2 Comments
When I say the “Dark Side” of BDSM, I am referring to the BDSM culture among African-Americans. The question is, does it exist? The simple as is yes. However, its not something that even the kinkiest among us discuss and if we do it is kept super hush-hush.
I can’t be the only one that likes to be tied up, choked and occasionally flogged. Unfortunately, I have difficulty finding kindred souls within my ethnicity.
So this begs the question as to why BDSM isn’t more popular or publicly acknowledged among Blacks. There are several reasons for this. First, was borne in slavery. We were demonized by slave masters and deemed sexually undesirable. Sex was considered dirty since many slaves were either raped or considered less than human. The next reason also found its origins in slavery. We were beated with whips, chains and in many different ways so to actually desire that type of activity could be considered abnormal or even shameful. The third reason is that we come from a religious community. The foundation of the Black community is the church so even fornication is considered a sin and BDSM is as well. The fourth reason is denial. We may tend to think that this is something that “only white people do”, I’m here to tell you that it certainly isn’t. The fifth reason is that most of us simply don’t understand what BDSM entails and fear what we don’t know.
If you are already a freak, BDSM is only the next step. I don’t recommend running to your nearest dungeon, but if it is something that you might be interested in, do your homework on it before you get involved.
All this being said, I was given the idea by fellow writer Nikki True to start an online community where African-Americans can meet like-minded souls and get their kink on. If you would like to be part of this community, stay tuned for updates on its launch!
February 6, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I can’t stress how important communication is in sex. As a matter of fact, I think I talk about it in damn near every article that I write. I’m particularly agitated by memories that were once repressed and have come back into my conscious mind recently. Without going into too much detail, because I’m pretty sure that the people I’m referring to will read this, here is what is irking the living shit out of me.
I start to get it on with a guy, its our first time together. Things are starting off slow and going really well. Then, he does something or several things for that matter that either hurt me, annoy me, or just don’t make any fucking sense whatsoever. I will try to redirect the person using soft physical cues like moving out of an uncomfortable position, or tapping him so that he knows to move because yelling “Hey, dumbass you’re doing it wrong” is impolite. So here is how you can avoid situations like this where you feel the need to sock your partner in the mouth because they did something you didn’t like.
1. Phone/Text Sex it up: Get it on via text or phone or IM or any of the 9 million other ways we can keep in touch nowadays. By doing this, you learn what the person likes/dislikes before you get in the sack with them. I’ve caught many an egregious error like this and sometimes it’s actually let me know right off the bat that we wouldn’t be compatible. Save yourself the time and headache!
2. Have an actual conversation before sex: Na, I ain’t talking about pillow talk. I mean sit down with the person face to face and actually discuss what it is you both plan on doing when the time comes. Talk about everything! Particularly your no-no’s. Also, when you are having this conversation, watch the other persons non-verbal cues and body language. That person may be afraid to disagree with you or tell you something that makes them uncomfortable because either they fear they won’t be getting any or they don’t want to seem like a prude. It is never ok to make someone feel like saying no to something is unacceptable. We all have our preferences.
3. Use that safe word: For those who may have forgotten, mine is Peanut Butter Popcorn! Seriously, if you are into real kinky shit like I am, make sure you use a safe word. Or if you can’t talk because oh I don’t know, you’re gagged. Have a non-verbal way to communicate that you have had enough.
4. Don’t be afraid: I used to go along with shit people wanted to do because I really liked them or I was just being plain old stupid! Never be afraid to tell someone who you don’t want to do something. If they really like you, or shit if they at least have half a heart they will understand. This ain’t junior high, you don’t have to worry about not being cool because you don’t do certain things in the sack.
5. Leave the drugs & alcohol alone: I’m not saying you can’t party your way, but sex, alcohol and drugs sometimes don’t mix. I’ve had my moments where I was drunk off my ass and told people to do things to me or agreed to do something I otherwise wouldn’t have that I have later regretted. I mean if you’re slurring your words, how do you expect the other person to understand what you are saying.
Communication is extremely important in sex. Not talking about your preferences, likes and dislikes can lead to an unpleasant experience. So before you climb in the sack, open your mouth and say exactly what it is you want or do not want!
February 1, 2012 § Leave a Comment
You could win this adorable mini-vibe disguised as a mirrored compact! All you have to do is follow @KinkiKloset https://twitter.com/#!/KinkiKloset and mention them and @BareKitten in a tweet and you will be automatically entered to win the prize. Be sure to like their facebook page http://www.facebook.com/KinkiKloset. Good luck!!!
December 19, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Probably one of the most repulsive comments that I get is that I’m such a pretty light-skinned girl. What the fuck does that have to do with my bone structure, the shape of my face, my eyes, my lips or my body? Absolutely nothing. I know I never show my entire body so let me describe myself. I’m 5’7, 155ish lbs, I have shoulder length auburn hair and hazelish eyes (they’re mostly brown but there’s some green in there). So unfortunately, I am favored by some men for my appearance. When I say appearance I don’t mean beauty, I mean my likeness to what is considered beautiful in mainstream America.
I’ve heard men say things like “I don’t date dark-skinned girls” or “I usually date white girls, but you are pretty light so its ok”. Want to know what my response is to comments like this? If you know me, you probably guessed right, yup, its FUCK OFF!!!. I know people have been conditioned into a manichean mind-frame, where they believe that light is better or more favorable but I would like to think that we know better now and can make progress towards changing that.
I’m not saying that you can’t have your preference, everyone does. My personal preference is for brown or dark-skinned men, but to be honest if your hot, cool, and can make me laugh I don’t give a shit what color your skin is, we can get it in. I have dated men of all races. What I have a problem with is people not only having this preference but broadcasting it and demeaning those who do not fit their criteria.
The Dark Skin Vs. Light Skin battle has been going on longer than probably most of us can remember. I hear all kinds of foul shit about both sides that hurts my soul. It is not only ignorant, but shameful and not to mention stupid. Really, light or dark? What happened to the folks in the middle? Did you miss the fact that there are approximately 36 shades of black? (I think I might be #.05 on that scale, but that’s not relevant here).
Another problem I have is when this hued thinking translates into the bedroom. I’ve had black men treat me as if I were not black while we were having sex. Let me explain. They pull my hair and say things like damn girl you got such good hair. Or better yet, they will say things like ” do you like the Black dick baby” um jackass, that’s what I’m used to so what the fuck is your point. Although my race can be ambiguous at best, I’ve always made it clear to people who I am involved with so to assume that I am anything other than what I am or to treat me differently is abhorrent at best.
Personally when it comes to women, I also prefer brown/dark-skinned women. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s the right girl, no matter what her race their’s a good chance my head will turn for a second glance. What I cannot stand is hearing black men and others speak negatively of dark-skinned women. It particularly pains me to hear this coming from another black person. I mean if we don’t love ourselves, who will? Like I said, you may have your preference, but you can do so without denigrating others.
I’m not ignorant in believing that this will change the way anyone thinks, but maybe it will make you think differently or be mindful of words that you have said that might have been hurtful to others.
This book has inspired my thinking on the subject. I encourage you to read it if this article peaked your interest: http://www.amazon.com/Manichean-Psychology-Racism-African-Descent/dp/0882582038
December 12, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I don’t know about you guys but I get really annoyed when I see chicks throw themselves at a dude. I just think it is the tackiest shit in the world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asserting one’s independence and expressing your feelings but let’s be real, some broads throw the pussy at dudes. I wish some women could hear what I hear from my guy friends when they tell me how unattractive that is.
Like I said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with stating what you want. I am very guilty of this. When I see something I want, I go for it. However, I do have a little thing that some girls lack and that’s called dignity. Maybe I am old-fashioned but randomly throwing your pussy at a guy in my opinion is shameful.
I’m old-school. So much so that I don’t even call boys. If you want me, and I want you, you know how to find me. Maybe it’s not so much being old-school as it is being respectful of that person’s time and circumstances. There is nothing wrong with letting someone know how you feel about them, but some women take it to the extreme. If someone really wants to be with you they will make that effort which of course you should reciprocate.
What ever happened to acting like a lady? Go ahead and roll your eyes. Who the fuck am I to be telling anyone to act like a lady, right? Seriously, most men like that. Now when you get behind closed doors, go ahead, rip off his clothes, swing from the chandelier, and do whatever the fuck you please. Wave that freak flag, but be discreet about it.
Honestly, if you walked past me on the street, you might give me a second look but you wouldn’t have any clue that I am Bare Kitten. It would probably take some convincing to prove who I am. The reason for that is that I not only try to behave like a lady, but I dress like one too. Thirst isn’t just about being overly aggressive, it’s about how you present yourself. I believe a woman should be able to wear whatever she wants, but that she should also take into consideration the attention that she will be getting and if it is indeed the kind she wants.
I purposely hide my 38D”s because they get a lot of attention that I do not want. It’s actually annoying to me to watch people fuss over them. Really the only person I want fussing over my boobs is one that is going to be playing with them. There’s no free show here people, if you want to see the fun bags or if you want to know why they call me Bare Kitten, you gotta put in some work.
All this being said, guys aren’t off the hook here. I see dudes waving their dick like it’s a fishing rod and their waiting for a bite (well maybe a nibble, but you know what I mean). Some guys are just relentless and don’t know when to quit. I don’t know about other women, but if you come to me and tell me what you want, I will respect that a lot more than constant flirting. And for the love of all that is holy, if a girl says no, please just move on. You are wasting your time and hers.
I know that times have changed and that both men and women are a bit more aggressive nowadays, but you have to maintain your self-respect. By all means, if there is someone who you want, respectfully pursue that person. However, if you aren’t getting back what you are putting into it then back off. There’s no need to throw yourself at someone, especially if they aren’t trying to catch you.
December 12, 2011 § 1 Comment
I have to say I was inspired to write this after reading this article http://mostlyjunkfood.com/5-oclock-somewhere/. The article refers to “side-chicking” in modern R & B songs. This got me thinking, what is the fascination with side-chicks nowadays? Why is it celebrated in music and popular culture? Do we no longer value the worth of a committed, monogamous relationship?
I can’t honestly sit here and tell you that I’ve never been someone’s side dish. Let me tell you how it usually works. I meet a guy, we hit it off, we get close, he gets clingy, then he either fails to mention or sheepishly mentions that he is in a relationship with someone else. When I was younger, this wasn’t really a problem for me. I always engaged in safe sex(and still do to this day) so I figured why not. The situation was actually ideal for me as I didn’t want to be in a relationship and enjoyed my freedom.
Then one day, the light came on inside my head. Karma is a big, bad bitch that will turn your world upside down if you fuck with her. I figured should the day ever come when I want to settle down, what would I do if my man had a side chick. I wouldn’t like it so much. Since that day, I have never willing engaged in being someone’s side chick. I ask the guy upfront if he is committed or married and if he is, I walk away.
There are many different schools of thought on why people cheat. I choose to believe that it is because the cheater is insecure. One simply isn’t enough for them and the idea of being desired by others is a boost to their low self-esteem. I don’t think that cheating is necessarily about sex. I believe it is the need for attention.
I also think that low self-esteem is the reason that women engage in this type of behavior as well. Some women even get to the point of delusion and take issue with the main woman in the man’s life. They feel a false sense of entitlement to that man. What they fail to realize is that the main woman is also a victim of the same deception that the side is. I also have to be fair because not only are there side-chicks, there are also side dudes. I am not saying that only men are guilty of this type of behavior.
Side-chicking is demeaning. You are essentially cheapening your worth in not only your own eyes (if you are that self-observant) but in the eyes of others. How can you command respect when you are running around with someone else’s significant other? Not only is it demeaning, it is also dangerous. You can’t be foolish enough to believe you are the only other “side” . Do some simple math. If that man is sleeping with you, his woman and who knows how many other sides and each of you sides is sleeping with someone else that’s a recipe for disaster. Side chicking is glorified particularly in the youth culture of African-Americans. What you are not being told and what is not being promoted in the media is the ugly fact that the majority of the newly diagnosed HIV cases are among African-Americans. Don’t believe me, check this link from the CDC http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#hivaidsrace.
Not only is it dangerous, it’s just plain old stupid. You are wasting your time with someone who will most likely never leave the main course for you. Honestly, even if they do, would you still want them? If they had no problems cheating on that person, what makes you immune? You have started off a relationship that will be plagued with trust and infidelity issues because you will be worried that the person will do the same thing to you that they did to the main girl.
Bottom line, you should value yourself enough to want a monogamous healthy relationship of your own. Conversely, if you have a side, you need to be honest with yourself and those in your life. If you cannot be in a committed relationship then be single. We need to value ourselves and the institution of relationships/marriage as well. You need to know that you are worth having that one man or woman and that infidelity on any level is simply not acceptable. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so have your main dish and save the sides for meal-time not your love life.
December 5, 2011 § Leave a Comment
One has to wonder what on earth would possess a young Black woman to show her vagina on twitter, clap her ass for mainstream urban media websites, or say have an entire website dedicated to her checkered sexual past (yes, the last one is about me!). This has perplexed me since I was a teenager. I remember watching music videos and thinking how could these girls behave this way. I do believe that the majority of the responsibility for this type of behavior lies within the individual. However, I also believe, as do others that we are not wholly to blame for our self-degrading sexual behavior.
We have been the victims of some ugly stereotypes. From being “loud” or “ghetto” to “uneducated” and “sexually undesirable”. Could the typecast of being “sexually undesirable” be responsible for the surge in flagrant sexual over-expression? This is a serious question to be considered. But first we must look into why we have been classified as “sexually undesirable” in the eyes of society.
The idea that an African-American female is sexually undesirable comes from slavery. Black females were taken on a whim by their masters and raped while Caucasian females were held in the highest of regard. Caucasian females were considered “untouchable” by anyone other than white males and were thought of as pure and chaste. So technically speaking, the sexual demonization of the Black female began during the days of slavery.
Lets fast forward 500 or so years to the modern day. How did we get to the point where we are now? Surely we cannot continue to blame slavery. Actually yes, we can. However, along with slavery we must also assign some of the blame to Black males but then we must immediately discount said blame. Allow me to clarify. If we were sexually dehumanized during slavery, Black men were witness to this dehumanization and the concurring reverence of the Caucasian female. So to simplify, if you are taught that Black females have no sexual value you begin to believe that no matter how contradictory that thought may be in your mind. Black men were also sexually demonized during slavery so to ask them to hold a different perspective when they too were persecuted is not only unfair but unreasonable.
Not only are we allowed to blame slavery, but the media plays a major part in our self-image. I have felt grossly misrepresented in the media from the time I was able to comprehend film, television, etc. We have been “told” that our hair should be straighter, longer, our skin lighter, that we are too fat and a plethora of other self-esteem withering criticisms. We have, with the exception of an enlightened few, attempted to conform to mainstreams idea of beauty as we have always been and continue to be told that we are not beautiful in the eyes of the societal beholder.
Now that I blamed media, here comes the next thought that would most likely pop into one’s head. It is the voice of our generation, yes, I am referring to hip hop. It is very easy to blame rappers and say that they are the ones responsible for the exploitation of young black females. That it is the very culture of hip hop that degrades our women. While I have felt at times that some rappers have taken it a bit too far, we must consider one very important fact. It is strictly entertainment. We tend to take hip hop music more seriously as it is based more in reality than fantasy, but it is an art form and not the voice of our entire culture. It is meant for you to dance or nod your head to, not to make generalizations about a group of people based on a few lyrics.
In my opinion, the egregious displays of sexuality on the part of Black females are attempts to over-compensate for a damaged public image, sort of a hyper-aggressive public relations campaign. We (well maybe some of us) want to show the world that yes, we are desirable and that contrary to what you have been taught all these years we are attractive in every way. While I have no problem with sexual expression, I do think that it needs to be done in a way in which the exhibitor retains their own self-respect. For example, I write, and I will on occasion attempt to make a more personal connection with my audience by sharing revealing photos. I understand that my behavior may be questionable, however,I feel no loss of respect or dignity. There are certain things I will never share publicly as that is where I hold on to my self-respect.
I am not setting a standard of self-expression, I believe that it is what that individual is comfortable with. I do feel that some women and unfortunately more recently teenage girls do push the limit of expression to the point of perversion and demeaning sexual behavior. I feel as though this is done as a result of low self-esteem and a general need for acceptance. I hate to judge anyone, but my sentiments are not so much a judgment as they are an attempt to understand the reason(s) guiding that behavior.
I am not here to tell anyone how they should behave. You know the saying that what you do behind closed doors is your business. However, we have come to a point in society where we have used technology to pull the eyes of the willing world behind that closed door with us as we engage in intimate behavior or thoughts. I simply saw a problem and wanted to really give some thought to its cause. I will be the first to tell you that I am not perfect and in no way think that I am any better or worse than anyone else but I do believe that I have been affected by some of the influences I mentioned. However, this does not free me from personal responsibility. My sexual experiences are on display for the entire world to see and that was something that I had to make a conscious decision to do. I do feel a bit more responsible for my behavior as I am able to reflect on the potential causes for such behavior. It feels a bit like a personal tug of war. Trying to rise above the stereotypes while maintaining the highest level of dignity and self-respect. While I always say that the point of my musings is to entertain, the fact remains that they are based entirely on my true life stories.
The next time that you see a Black female engaging in what appears to be questionable sexual behavior, instead of instantly passing judgment, try to understand what may have influenced her to engage in that behavior. I am not saying that this behavior is right, I am personally trying to be more understanding of its underlying cause(s) and would hope that you would also.
© The Bare Kitten, 2011
December 1, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I’m sure some of you were wondering why I asked you how many times a day you masturbate. I swear I’m not nosey, I wanted to see what’s considered “normal”. Well most of you (83%) are like me and you pet the kitty or choke the chicken one to three times a day.
I did have one person vote that they don’t masturbate. This struck me as odd as I expect that most of my readers pleasure themselves on a regular basis. I had to ask this individual to come forward and explain why they don’t masturbate. His reasoning was that he wanted to “save” it for his girl instead of “wasting rounds”. I had to advise this gentleman that he should reconsider his logic because his body will make more of that “special sauce” that some of us girls love so much.
I don’t know about you guys but I masturbate ALL the time! When I’m bored, battling insomnia, pissed off, lonely, stressed out, hell I don’t really need a reason. Shit, right now I’m typing with one hand and doing you know what with the other .
You will probably think there is something wrong with me (not like you didn’t already!)when I tell you that I use masturbation as a reward. Yes you read that correctly! I use it as a reward for when I accomplish certain tasks that I would otherwise consider mundane. Think of Pavlov and his dog, and you’ve got a grasp on how I use masturbation as positive reinforcement.
It really doesn’t take much to get me going. I use any number of my stock fantasies to get myself off or I will just watch some porn if I need a little boost. While I do enjoy mechanical stimulation, sometimes it feels better to use my hands. I also have no problems doing it on camera (for a partner, not a stranger!), before, during or after sex.
I have a bit of a temper and I lose patience very quickly and I find that masturbation helps to “even” me out. I’m a much nicer person for it. Let’s be realistic, if you are single and have a strong sexual appetite, its not rational or safe to have sex all the time. Even if you’re married, masturbation kind of becomes the norm because sex with your partner may be limited due to the regular routine of marriage.
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. A majority of the world’s population masturbates. No, you won’t go blind, grow fur on your palms or any of the other stupid things we were told as kids.
I can’t go into all the benefits of masturbation simply because there are too many to name! So I’m going to give you one for the ladies and one for the gents. Girls, masturbating helps prime you and improve your chances at achieving a vaginal orgasm. Read my “Female O” and you will see (if you didn’t already know) how difficult it is for us to climax. Rubbing your “gigi” or whatever the hell you call it will help you get to the promise land. Fellas, masturbation can help you with any premature ejaculation issues you may have. If you plan on getting close to Bare Kitten, I expect you to be jerking off at every possible opportunity. Read the “Early Pearly” and find out what happens if you don’t!
So in the spirit of self-pleasure, go on and help yourself to some of yourself. And the next time someone tells you to “go fuck yourself”, don’t get angry, smile and say “thank you, but I did that twice already today!”
Enjoy a nice tribute to Tweet’s “Oops, oh my” by Theophilus London