Polyamory: Is it for you?

January 24, 2012 § 1 Comment

I gotta be honest, I had no idea what polyamory was until recently. I tried to think back on my past relationships/excursions to see if I ever unintentionally engaged in polyamory and I never have.

In theory, its pretty cool. You, and yours and another person or people are in a relationship, sexual and otherwise. Is this the proverbial “have your cake and eat it too scenario”? Well if its done right, the answer to that could quite easily be “yes”.

Polyamory is slightly different from an open relationship in that each person is aware of the situation. Not to say this isn’t the case in open relationships, but polyamory offers more disclosure.

I don’t think I could ever be polyamorous as I don’t have the time or the patience to be in a relationship with more than one person at a time. I have relationship issues as it is and haven’t had a boyfriend in over 4 years so I think polyamory is out of my league.

Is polyamory just glorified cheating? I don’t think so. This type of relationship requires transparency and trust which infidelity includes neither of. It also requires that each of its participants have a strong sense of self-esteem and trust in others. This is not for jealous, insecure or people who have issues with trust.

One problem that I think polyamory would solve is the epidemic we now face of “side-chicking”. If all participants were willing, it would eliminate the need for sneaking around and doing shit with people you have no business doing shit with.

I also think that in terms of sexual health, polyamory may be something to consider for those folks who think one just isn’t enough. If all parties to the polyamorous arrangement are willing and have knowledge of each other, the discussion of safe sex must also present itself.

This really isn’t for everyone, but if a monogamous relationship isn’t for you, you may want to have the discussion with your partner. Don’t be selfish, be understanding of your partner(s) needs and requirements.

If you are in a polyamorous relationship, successful or otherwise, please feel free to comment as this is new to me.


§ One Response to Polyamory: Is it for you?

  • I have always been polyamorous but only recently discovered that there was a word for it and that instead of cheating, there is a whole world of people lovingly sharing each other.

    It’s not easy, but seems so worth it. Yes… I would love to have my cake and all the fucking cupcakes and yep, I want to eat them all too. The thing about that is, that as long as my needs are being met from the relationship then I’m willing to let my partner(s) enjoy their own cake :)

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